Friday, September 24, 2010 // 1:16:00 AM
Today I felt so hopeless about us. and theres no resentment. In fact there werent negative feelings at all, except for the realization that this isn't going to work. all happened during Clinical Psych lols. Maybe tomorrow I'm going to wake up, back to square one. but this feels so much lighter now. like the hair on my head. HAHA!
and I see how as we grow, people just grow apart. Nothing in particular has to happen. Ok well, I admit I've changed. Rather I'm just being more generous with whats in my head. and I have to say it is not exactly socially desirable and easy for people to accept some of the things I say. But isn't the world just a bit simpler if everyone was honest with each other? As much as people dont understand why I'm quite stubborn about certain issues, I don't understand why they can't accept me for how I view the issue. I mean... is my opinion actually affecting anyone? Technically I think no, apart from the fact that I'm telling you about what I intend to do. I'm not even asking you to help! and as much as I'm quite crazy, I'm not expecting crazy things.
I think we (I dont know if I should attribute this to a race/culture/country/region stigma) just have this queer concept. When I'm telling you something, you have to agree. Thing is.. you dont have to! You can actually choose to understand/accept/understand & accept/TOTALLY DISAGREE but we're totally doing the if-we're-different-and-you-are-a-deviant-from-the-social-norm-then-i-would-think-you're-nuts-and-i-should-try-and-change-your-crazy-idea-or-im-getting-angry-with-you. but actually theres nothing wrong with being different, unless of cause u're causing great discomfort or harm to the people around. like Clare says, it all depends. Can I just say I miss Mirika n Antoine arguing over how powerpoint slides should be formatted in lectures? I thought they were ridiculous. Over time, I get their point now.
Do you think people grow sick of one another over time? Or maybe that is just a sign you shouldn't marry that person or see that person too often. In this case, we prove the statement "absence makes the heart grow fonder" :)
Endless memories,
too many to count.
Saturday, September 18, 2010 // 2:47:00 PM
i have the laptop on so that i can finish my despicable me torrent. indeed i am despicable, supporting piracy. but im poor. its not a valid excuse. oh well.
so im trying hard not to visit n revisit facebook or twitter. ive decided to list down the things i need to complete today.
1. Workplace Chpt 5 & 6 + copy notes
2. Minna no Nihongo Chpt 41-42
3. FYP
4. Finish 医龍 book 11 & 12 *anticipating*
there we go!
Endless memories,
too many to count.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010 // 9:19:00 PM
有些伤口要过一段时间才会结合
今天下午就一直觉得右手的无名指和小指互相摩擦的时候，感觉怪怪的。感觉很熟悉，就是其中一边破了皮的感觉。反复检查手指就是找不到伤口。刚刚突然之间看到小指上多了一道疤，因为伤口泛红所以显得特别明显。
过一阵子，应该会好吧。之后。。。就不留痕迹了吗？
Endless memories,
too many to count.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010 // 11:43:00 AM
its been what... 6 years?
不过21岁这一年还过得蛮精彩的嘛~
Endless memories,
too many to count.
Wednesday, September 08, 2010 // 12:42:00 AM
After living by the rule of "being true to oneself" for a while, I realise... I am becoming
socially dysfunctional. Now, its the time you decide: be truthful to everyone else, not necessarily being mean and untactful, but just speaking up OR go back to how you use to be, or how most people are, smile, nod, use words like "I think...", "maybe its better to..." etc. NO I DONT LIKE IT. but no, i have to change, go back to how I used to be. I detest that though.
I have been thinking, sometimes I think I'm crazy. Then one day I was enlightened. I was never crazy. I just wasnt conscious. I realised why I could always tell if a teacher hated me early into the year when I was in school. and how I know that colleague of mine don't fancy me too much. It's because... I wasn't well-liked as a kid. Not that I was weird or stupid or anything that made people dislike me. I just had a bad temper and was too shy and quiet. Adults don't like kids like this. STUCK UP. But years of training has somehow given me the ability to be so sensitive towards people. I see how some friends aren't the same anymore. I see how I'm not within that circle anymore. I don't blame them. I couldn't be who I really am when I'm with them. Now that I am, we are just... weird.
What would you do if you were me?
How bout a little sad phrase for the day? "and my sensitivity does not apply to love because... I wasn't loved as a kid. so how am I supposed to know?"
Endless memories,
too many to count.
